The purpose of this blog.

This is the first post on this blog, so now it would be a good time to explain to you how it started.

I'm an obese person. There... I've said it!
My current BMI (Body Mass Index) is a stunning 36. For those who don't know what this means, this would give you an idea:

• Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
• Overweight = 25-29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

(For those who want to check their BMI: you can use the BMI calculator, on the left side of this page, under the "Weight Loss Tools".)

Now I'm more aware than ever of how much my weight affects my life. Looking back I can see that for the past few years I've permitted to myself to become something that I hate.

During these years I was always trying to lose weight, but in the long run I've somehow ended heavier than I started. 4-5 years back I managed to lose a great deal of fat (actually I managed to get below my should-be-normal weight) and kept it away for a year or so. That year was the happiest of my life.
Today, having gained that weight back (x2), and after countless fruitless attempts, I'm stack in a body I can't live with.

My condition does not only affect me physically. The worst damage is done to my personality. Each kg I gained made me feel worse, made me give up on myself a little more, made me be ashamed of myself, made me push my friends away.

The bad news is that after all those years of diets, it seems impossible for me to lose even a few grams now. I can't even remember how many diets I've tried, and in some occasions some dieting pills. The past few months my scale hasn't move no matter what I did. My metabolism seems to be broken and my motivation looks like it's in a much worse state.

The good news is that I could be in a worse position. I was blessed with a perfect life partner. All those years he never complained about my looks (and believe me, there was a dramatic change), instead he was always there to give me his love and support. I know that even if he doesn't complain, he deserves better from me. I deserve better from me; that is what this blog will be all about.

I'm done hiding, I'm done worrying how ashamed I'll be if one of my old friends sees me in my current position, I'm done feeling angry with myself. I don't hate obesity, I actually could make a list of obese people I really find attractive. I hate that today I'm in this state because I just let myself go; I hate this body because it's a product of sloth and self loathing.

I'll do my best, I'll never be perfect (my body is already damaged from all the weight gaining, losing and gaining again), but at least I wish to live once again in a body that depicts the efforts I've done, and the love I gave to it.

I will be posting my progress, and even occasionally, upload some photos of me, starting tomorrow morning (I have to admit I hate photos, and I avoid them every time I can, but this time I have to make some commitments in order to face the truth). I'll also be sharing with you pieces of information I may find useful.

During this journey I need support, and if you're like me, I know you need it too. I'll be more than happy if I can in any way help you, so please don't hesitate to contact me.